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Chaos Theory

December 16, 2010

I have 3 kids – 2 boys and 1 toddler girl, all with lots of energy. I know when people walk into our house, or even worse, when we walk into other people’s homes, there is a ton of energy in the space we inhabit. We’re pretty used to it though. When out kids are running around our house, playing chase or fighting loudly, sometimes it doesn’t even register on my radar screen.

I have this theory that there are two types of households, those that accept (embrace even?) the chaos and those that manage it. I admit that I try to manage our chaotic energy from time to time but that strangely hasn’t worked too well for us – so accepting it turns out to be easier. However if your household is one of well-attuned managing, it’s a lot to suddenly have my brood enter your lives.

I went on vacation recently with my brother and his kids (2 girls and a baby boy). Whenever all our kids played together at their vacation condo, they all played games, drew and quietly watched TV.  When all the cousins congregated at our place however, there were games of high-energy tag, jumping from bed to bed and some artwork.

My totally gender biased theory (given my sample size of people we hang out with) is the households that are girl-centric seem to be quieter.  The girls I see do more artwork and play quiet games.  Boy-centric households appear to have more excess energy that includes running, jumping, balls and loud voices.

Does this mean all boy-heavy households can’t manage chaos, or that girly ones aren’t as loud?  Hey I’m sure there are exceptions to any rule, but it means I for one have chosen to surrender to the “alive” boy energy of our household.

What about you?  What’s your take on chaos theory and gender?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Nava permalink
    December 16, 2010 4:31 pm

    I have the same exact theory as you!! We embrace the chaos and try to look at each situation with humor (if not, I’d have pulled all my hair out long ago). I do try to balance the boisterousity with dedicated quiet/reading/coloring/cuddling time so that DS can wind down for naps. Balance is key with anything in life I’ve found.

  2. Lauren P permalink
    December 17, 2010 2:56 pm

    We might be the exception. I have 2 girls… (3 & 1) I am in 2 organized playgroups as well as preschool & church groups, other friends, etc. (so I have a good sample base to observe!) Our home is chaos- and we embrace it. We naturally try to enforce “inside voices,” no more “rolling” down the staircase, jumping across beds, etc. But no matter how much I try- my girls are high energy. And dare I say- bright??? There isn’t a baby gate or safety lock/latch that they can’t overcome. They climb, jump, or run through everything. SOOO… We eventually decided to just embrace this as a season in our world. I will always have my retirement to focus on a quiet household.
    Most girl-heavy households we know have these gentle-natured girls, & are relatively managed & quiet. The boy ones vary. I think it comes down to the nature of your children! I have kind & loving (but WILLFUL energetic) babies. Whew!!! Can’t believe I’m considering a third!!!

    But yay for those who embrace the chaos. It just leaves more energy to play along with your kids instead of battle their nature. Proverbs 22:6 refers to raising your child in the way he is bent… Each child has a precious personality & way/energy about them. Trying to fight or change it only bring frustration on both sides.

    and I especially like Ephesians 6:4
    … Don’t provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

    I’ve exhausted myself trying to make my kids calm, quiet, & still. It was miserable for them & me. Once I sat back & let them shout, jump, & “be wild” our home has actually had more noise— but also more peace.

    and when I'm out of the house… Well, I just buckle them into my Tri Mode twin! Strapping them down is my only hope! ;-p

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